12+ Mos

Wow, last week was the hardest week of my young motherhood.  Eli was such a crank!  He was fussy, squirmy, hard to console, like I said before cranky and really just difficult!  Mealtime which usually goes okay was a royal battle and he cried for an hour at the gym and did not sleep well at all.  I cried two or three times  last week just because I didn't know what to do.  It was just hard....and then Jeff got sick and it got even harder.  I kept thinking maybe a tooth is coming in so I gave him Tylenol and Motrin but here we are a week later and no tooth.  Looking back I think he must have been sick with the cold that took his daddy out of commission for a few days but he still needs to listen and follow directions.  Thankfully, that week ended and a new week began and while we still struggle with some things for the most part my precious little Eli is back.  Actually, making it through this rough patch makes me  feel like an official mom and opened the door for some reflection.

Watching my child be his natural self really reminded me of human nature or sin nature.  It really makes me think about the love that God has for us His children and what an amazing love it is.  For example, Eli has been hitting lately and we wondered where he picked up this nasty little habit.  Well, I don't think he learned it from anyone it is just how we are as humans.  Naturally we are disobedient and want to push the limits and for some reason God loves us in spite of our humanity and in spite of our disobedience.  He wants a relationship with us so much He gave His perfect son to atone for our sinful nature.  He always wants more for us and longs for obedience from us.  He longs for obedience from us because he knows what's best.  This is exactly how I feel about Eli.  I want him to obey for his own benefit now and down the road.  I have been praying with him about choosing to obey and praying for Jeff and I as we teach and train Eli to love the Lord.  So after a week of pain I just feel renewed.  I know it is a long, hard road ahead but I am trusting the Lord for wisdom and joy as I parent Eli everyday.